Three
by Little Miss Defensive
Summary: It seems that since I found out I could not have a child, my feelings grew. I guess the saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone," really does apply to me.
1. Three

**Title: **Three

**Author: **Little Miss Defensive aka: eccentricrabbit

**Summary: **Impossibility can be called a miracle, could this really be?**  
Rating: **13+ for the time being.**  
Spoilers: **Not so far :)

**Xx**

**Scully's Apartment**

**Saturday 8.32am**

Three minutes? Surely with all the amazing things that have been developed over the years, they could come up with an instant response pregnancy test. Three minutes feels like too long. I fiddle nervously with my necklace, eyes glued to the test. _8.33am._ I don't know why I'm doing this. I saw the test results after my abduction. I found out I was barren, and there was nothing I could do about it. Tightening my hands into fists, I begin to pace. Really, why was I doing this? There must be something wrong with me. That bump on my head last night when I hit my head on the shower door, maybe it caused a mild concussion? That must be why I found myself at the pharmacy early this morning buying this test. That must be why I'm following a 'gut' feeling, rather than figuring out a more reasonable explanation to why I feel this way.

_8.35am._ I pause in my pacing and glance at the clock I had dragged in from the kitchen. I look over my shoulder towards the test resting so innocently on the edge of the bathtub. _It's nothing._ I tell myself. But deep down _I know_. My body is changing, not in an obvious way. Just subtle changes. I can feel the odd cramp in my uterus as it expands, and the queasiness that seems to just be there all the time for the past few weeks. I find myself moving closer to the bath, I close my eyes tightly, and then open them again. _One single pink line_. It blurs before me as tears fill by eyes. Before I know what I'm doing, I find myself spinning around, and sitting, my back against the cool porcelain of the bath. I draw my knees to my chest, my arms automatically wrap themselves around them, and I make myself as small as possible. I try to keep the ball of hurt, of pain, of anger inside me. How could I be so wrong about my own body?

The idea of having a child terrifies me with the lifestyle I live, things would have to change, and change is never easy. But at the same time, I cannot deny that the moment a child is in the vicinity, my eyes are drawn to it. I cannot deny the way my heart beats faster when a baby is placed in my hands. Nor can I deny that my body yearns for a child. It seems that since I found out I _could not_ have a child, my feelings grew. I guess the saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone," really does apply to me.

**Xx**

**Scully's Apartment**

**9.30am**

"Scully!" I can hear banging at my front door. Mulder must have been the one calling me. I heard my cell phone go off a few times, and my home phone at least twice. But my muscles don't seem to want to cooperate. So I had stayed sitting on the cream tiles of my bathroom floor, and let the tears fall until there were no more. I don't know how long I have been sitting here; from my vantage point I can't see the clock. I just know that I will have to move eventually, drag myself from my spot on the floor, and carry on. It just feels like my world is falling apart. I need Mulder.

I can hear him unlocking the front door. But still my leaden muscles will not work. His footsteps, so familiar to me, are coming closer, but I just can't move. Sucking in a deep breath, I call his name. I tried my best to keep my voice steady, but even if I had managed, Mulder would not be fooled.

"Scully," I hear him say as he pushes open the door. His observant eyes briefly take in my huddled form, I see him look towards the empty box on the edge of the sink. But he quickly crouches in front of me. I turn my face up to his, as even when he's crouching he is above me. I try to tell him without words that I am _okay_, but my chin trembles, and my eyes betray me as a tear escapes. Before I can duck my head, his hand catches me beneath my chin.

"Are you?" He asks simply. So he had seen the box. He knew. I take a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Mulder's scent calms me like no other. He is my home, my safe place. I could never describe his scent, or what it means to me. Like a baby animal, I recognise his scent from all others, and his scent is just his.

"No I'm not," I whisper. He reaches over my shoulder and picks up the small plastic rectangle that had just told me the best and worst news of my life, after looking at it he places it gently back on the edge and picks up the empty box. He studies the back, and I watch his eyes flick between the box and the test, his forehead slightly wrinkled in concentration. Watching him calms me, and I feel lighter. Shuffling to relieve my sore and numb bum, I rise to my knees, leaning closer to him, taking his strength, While I know I can't really '_take his strength'_ something about being close to him revives me.

"It says one pink line means _positive_?" He says, his face showing his confusion. I grab his shoulder for support, and snatch the box that he is holding loosely in his hands.

I had read the instructions wrong. Standing, I place the box calmly back on the sink, but as I turn to look at him, a laugh escapes me. I cover my mouth, but the moment I do I am crying again. This time Mulder's arms are wrapped protectively around me, and each tear I let slip down my face chips at the pain in my chest.

_I'm pregnant. The impossible has happened._

**Authors Note**: TBC? Or no?

I'm not sure. I haven't written in ages. And you guys may be sick of pregnant!Scully fic's.

If anyone wants to beta this, feel free!


	2. Two

Xx

**Lakeview Motel**

**Monday 11.58pm**

I stare out at the murky night-time waves of the lake, and wish I had chosen somewhere else. This had been where I spent two weeks of every summer as a child. A place I remembered as having an air of quiet peace. But tonight the waves are hammering the stones on the shore, and the waves look more sinister than inviting as they once had when I was young. Instead of feeling at peace, I feel a shiver of dread run down my back. Why had I left, or more to the point, why had I come alone?

I sink onto the cushioned window seat of my motel room, and stare instead at the perfectly made double bed. The blue wavy lines on the bedcover give me more comfort than the waves crashing outside. Mulder has been amazing, he has barely left my side in the two days since I found out I am pregnant. He has really stepped up to the plate, and wants to help me in any way he can... While I know he is doing what he thinks is best, it is overwhelming I suppose. It is too soon for me to think about these things. About leaving the FBI... even temporarily, about the rumours that will fly at work about Mr. & Mrs. Spooky, about my mom and how she will react, and about everything else his brilliant mind comes up with. All I want to do is block it all out. I want a little while to just pretend none of this is happening.

I tilt my head to rest against the window frame, and close my eyes. This life in me is so wonderful, is what I have wanted for so long, I should be happy. I feel guilty for _not_ being so. But right now all I want is to stick my head in the sand, and come back up for air when things are making more sense in my over-loaded brain.

Xx

**Lakeview Motel**

**Tuesday 7.30am**

_Pain.._. That is the first thing I think of when I wake to find myself curled uncomfortably on the window seat. My neck aches, and my left arm is dead from sleeping on it. I slowly and painfully rise to a sitting position, and rub my aching neck with my good hand, while flexing the fingers of my other hand trying to get the feeling back. What had woken me anyway? The shrill of my phone ringing starts up again, and I remember. Instead of hurrying to answer it, I get up and slowly manoeuvre myself around the end of the double bed, and dig through my handbag to get my phone but I still don't answer it. Mulder is the one calling, and I feel my heart beat speed up. This is one of the first times I have ever not answered his call purposely. But I'm just not ready. When the ringing stops, a message on my screen tells me that I have 3 missed calls. I scroll through the list, and frown. All missed calls are from Mulder. I feel guilty for not telling him where I am. Before I have a chance to even consider calling him, my phone begins ringing in my hand once again. Mulder _again_. He is obviously desperate to get hold of me, so I take a deep breath, and steady my breathing before answering the call, before I can even get the phone to my ear I hear Mulder.

"Scully?"

"Hello,"

"Where are you? I brought you breakfast but you weren't answering your phone, so I came inside and you're not here, and nor is your overnight bag." He blurts it all out, and then there is only silence, but I don't know what to say.

"I'm..." I pause. "Sorry Mulder, I just need some time. Thank you for buying me breakfast, I'm sorry I'm not there to eat it." He answers me only with more silence. "_I am really sorry._" I say quietly.

"I know Scully. I just wish you had told me. I would have let you be if you needed a break." The hurt in his voice is evident to me. I feel tears pricking my eyes.

"I miss you." I tell him. But I know what he's thinking. He thinks if I really miss him, then I would come back. I wish I could explain to him how I honestly do miss him, but there are so many things that complicate the situation.

"I miss you too." I can't talk now, there is a huge lump forming in my throat. "I guess I will let you go then Scully." His voice sounds distant, and I squeeze the phone closer to my ear. _Don't go Mulder._ I plead silently, but he hangs up. I know he's not angry with me, just hurt. But I feel my heart ache. I've hurt him, and he's done nothing but try his best to help me.

The gurgling of my stomach distracts me, so I hang the phone up and place it on the bed. I need food, especially since I'm eating for two now. I take a few deep breaths, and count to ten in my head. I straighten my clothes, and smooth down my hair in front of the full length mirror hanging beside the bed, snatch up my handbag and phone, and head out the door. Breakfast will help me think more clearly... _I hope._

**TBC.**


	3. One

**Lakeview Cafe & Restaurant**

**Tuesday 8.30am**

Coffee seemed to help clear my head. It seemed to be taking forever for them to bring out the French toast I had ordered. I fold the napkin in front of me, trying to forget how my stomach is growling so loud the man sitting in the booth behind me can probably hear it. This place is nice, small but tidy with a soothing green paint on the walls, and table tops to match. The view of the lake is wonderful, and I can see this would be a popular place for tourists at the right time of year. But this morning it is just me and a couple of locals it seems.

A cough from behind me reminds me there is an elderly man reading a newspaper there. When I walked in it looked as though the man was at home here, he was slouching comfortably in his eat reading the paper, he had empty mugs next to him and a plate with smeared sauce and crumbs on it. He looked like this was his usual breakfast spot. For some reason he had looked up from his paper as I neared him, and his eyes hadn't left my face except to move to my belly briefly. I had smiled politely, a little confused at his attention. It made me self conscious, he couldn't know of course. I wasn't showing yet, although in a few months time I would be... I shook my head to clear it; I didn't want to think about that right now.

The smell of French toast wafted towards me and I turn and smile at the waitress. She has piled my plate high and smothered the toast in maple syrup; I feel saliva gathering in my mouth. My mind is filled with those wonderful pieces of bread, egg, milk... I stopped listing the ingredients in my head once the plate was in front of me, I just dig in, I take much bigger mouthfuls than I normally do, not caring what the people around me think. I can't believe how hungry I am, or how fast I finish off my plate, and drain my second de-caff. I don't know whether it is stress, pregnancy, or just how bloody good they tasted. But either way I feel much better as the food begins giving me energy. The de-caffeinated coffee hadn't done anything for me, but I'd have to get used to it. I couldn't drink a lot of coffee while pregnant. I feel a smile I can't stop spreading across my face. I have to be careful what I eat or drink; I have to plan for a baby. _A baby._ I'd resigned myself to the fact I couldn't have a child, and hadn't let myself think of these things. _But now I can._ And just thinking about it I feel butterflies in my stomach, I can't tell if they are butterflies of excitement or nerves. Just as I think this a shuffling noise distracts me, and I turn to see the elderly money coming towards me. Step, drag, step, drag. He drags one of his feet behind him as he walks, the doctors in me wants to diagnose him, but I stop my mind from going through the list of possibilities as a strange mixture of old sweat & coffee assault my nostrils and I resist the urge to cover my nose, and frown as the queasiness that had finally abated came back full force.

"Hello," he says to me, and drops into the seat across from me. I accidentally raise my hand to cover my nose and mouth without thinking, but cover by coughing into my hand and then bringing it down to rest in my lap along with my other hand.

"Hi," I squirm in my seat, how to get away from him without being rude?

"She is going to be very intelligent." I just stare at him. Great, he's crazy. Just what I wanted, I was finally feeling a little more stable and a crazy man comes and talks to me. I try to come up with an excuse, and open my mouth to blurt out whatever comes to my mind first, but before I can he speaks again... "Your baby, I mean." He finally looks up, and looks me in the eyes.

"I..." I begin, and then look down from his murky brown/green eyes, to my stomach. How could he possibly know? I shake my head. He's just crazy.

"You need to go home now though." He nods his head as he says this, as if agreeing with himself. "Not everyone wants her to be born Dana." He knows my _name_ he's a _stalker._ I think irrationally, not wondering why an elderly man would stalk me, or how he would know I'm pregnant, or how he knows what sex my baby is when I don't even know yet. I stand abruptly.

"I don't know who you are, leave me alone." I say angrily. How dare he? I consider calling the police, but instead I pay the cashier, and storm back to the motel.

**Lakeview Motel**

**Tuesday 9.30am**

I glance around my barely used room, and begin gathering my few belongings. That man at the cafe may have been crazy and more than likely harmless. But I am leaving. Not because of what he said, even though it had sent shivers down my spine. No, I just didn't want to be in the same place as a crazy person while pregnant and alone. '_Vulnerable_.' The word comes to mind unwittingly, and everything clicks into place. My problem. The reason I have run away, the reason I can't handle Mulder being the way he is. I feel _vulnerable_ knowing I'm pregnant; it's not just me I have to worry about anymore. I smile for the second time today, finally I understand. My feet felt lighter on the ground as I head towards the car, I dial Mulder's number as I reach my car. It only rings twice before he answers.

"Mulder," he answers gruffly.

"Mulder it's me."

"Are you okay?" He asks, his voice softening in concern.

"Yeah, I'm coming home." I want to ask if he will come see me. I want to know if he is mad with me. I want to know if he will forgive me. But no words come out.

"That's good." Silence. Awkward silence is not something I'm used to with Mulder, and I want to fill it, instead I feel my stomach tighten in concern.

"Mulder," I start, and then take a few breaths to calm myself. "Will you come over? When I'm home I mean?" I can't believe how _hard_ it is to ask that.

"Of course Scully," I smile; his voice seems to lose some of the tension it had been filled with at the beginning of the conversation. "I'll see you when you're home." I can feel him smiling through the phone, so I don't bother saying goodbye, just close my cell phone, and start the car.

Things are going to be fine. I will learn to live with the fact that I _am_ more vulnerable from here on out. Mulder had forgiven me for my weakness, for running when I should have stayed. A crazy man somehow made me figure things out, how fitting.

Xx

**The End.**

**A/n: I might do a sequel... not too sure. Hope you don't mind my ending. I planned to have one more chapter of Scully getting home, and talking with Mulder. But I think this chapter pretty much sums things up. Let me know what you think. :)**

**Again, if anyone wants to beta this, feel free! You can email me: .com**


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